Let’s talk about feelings for a little bit. Most specifically, the feeling of wanting to get back at or get revenge on someone. We all go through situations when somebody wrongs us in some kind of way. They call us a mean name, or take the last piece of cake you were looking forward to all day. Or they do something seriously cruel, stealing a boyfriend/girlfriend from us, breaking up your relationship to get at you, turning our own friends or family against us. And as much as we all would like to get back at them and make them feel how we did…
It takes a much stronger (and wiser) person to forgive that it does to take revenge. And while yes, in some circumstances I could understand that you wouldn’t want to – and maybe shouldn’t have to – forgive (like turning someone’s family against you). But the point is that it would be oh so easy to let yourself sink to their level, to make them go through what you did. To “make them pay”. And it would probably feel good.
But this also ties back to when all of our moms told us that “two wrongs don’t make a right” and “treat others the way you want to be treated”. Because yes, people do shitty things. It’s in our nature to be mean at times. For others it’s all the time…But it takes a certain amount of strength and self control to keep yourself from stooping to their lowly level. To either forgive and forget, or even just to move on without forgiving.
By simply moving on and not attempting to take revenge, not only are you proving yourself to be the bigger and better person, but you’re letting go of the negativity that not only started with the problem, but would follow if you were to get your revenge. And we all know how negativity breeds negativity.
So next time someone wrongs you, sit back and think for a moment of the consequences, sure it sucks now but will it make anything truly better if you act on your impulses? Will you become a better person – a better version of yourself – for doing so? Probably not. So even if you don’t forgive, you can still choose to move on without acting on our human instinct.