Light & Love

Hello loves! I hope your Monday was a good one. Mine…well let’s just say it was kinda hectic but hey it made the day go by faster XD. I’ve spent most of the day trying to draw inspiration for this week’s quote, and it wasn’t until after I got home off of work and showered that I finally found the best one.

2018 MLK JR

I know, I know, it’s Martin Luther King Jr. day so everyone is quoting him. I know. But I feel like this quote definitely resonates with how I’m feeling about the world and my life in general. You can’t fight fire with fire. You can’t get rid of darkness by extinguishing all of the lights. You cannot defeat hate by refusing to love.

This is definitely one of my new favorite quotes, and one that will follow me throughout the rest of my life I’m sure. There’s enough darkness and hate it the world. Let’s try to bring in more love and light, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll start seeing some changes in the world.

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Control

I’ve been struggling a lot recently. Struggling to get up out of bed, to be productive, to make content and have fun here on my blog like the good old days. And I think I’ve realized what the biggest factor has been. For so long, deep down I’ve kept a hold of all of my fears and insecurities from my last long term relationship which, if you are new or don’t remember, didn’t end very well for me and caused me to spiral into a pretty dark hole for a while.

It’s held me back from doing so much, from trusting, from believing, and from being free and happier in general. Because let’s face it. How can you really relax and be happy if there’s a voice in your head that keeps telling you that you’re not worth it, or that the person you love is going to grow tired of you and leave you? How can it be easy to not be paranoid that every small thing that they say or do that seems like they are upset or annoyed with you won’t escalate into them leaving? It’s hard. And awful. And terrifying. And most of all?

EXHAUSTING.

2018 control

So this week. Week 2 of 2018. I am going to try from this week forward to truly, 100% let go of all of those fears and insecurities that the past has given me to hold. That I’ve trudged around with on my shoulders, pushing me mentally and emotionally deeper and deeper into the dirt.

It’s time to lay them to rest for good, and to walk away without them. And for good measure, let’s use this as an opportunity to make a list and visualize all of those awful things that keep weighing us down. Feel free to share in the comments below if you’d like.

  • fear of my unborn business failing
  • fear that Zach will tire of my insecurities and needs, and walk away
  • fear that my anxiety and depression will push Zach away
  • voices saying that I’ll never be good enough to be successful in anything in life

These are the main things that I’ve come to realize make every day difficult for me. These things make my anxiety and depression even worse, and it becomes a vicious, awful, dark cycle.

Now. These things are all listed. They’re on the internet. Everyone knows about them. I know about them. I’ve allowed the light to shine on them, to bring them out of the dark hiding places in which I’ve put them in an attempt to ignore them. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Realization is the first step for me. The next step is to understand why I fear these things, and what things trigger those awful voices to become loud and obnoxious.

2018 is going to be a year of change for me. A year of healing. New beginnings. I hope you’ll join me on this quest to fight my inner demons. Please know that if ever you need a friend, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen, I’m here. I always will be. You can comment below or send me a message through my Contact Page. You’re not alone. And neither am I.

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COME HANG OUT WITH ME!

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Success

Happy New Year all! I can’t believe it’s 2018! Where did 2017 go??

So another year has come and gone, and once more we are left to decide how we want the upcoming year to proceed. Everyone is making new resolutions, and hopefully a lot of them are kept. My main resolution this year is to take things easier on myself, and to make more time for me. My secondary resolution is to get my candle business up and running, even if I just make a handful of sales this year.

2017 wasn’t a great year for me, for a few different reasons. I was feeling really stressed most of the year, and so it not only put a strain on me mentally and physically, it also put a huge strain on my relationship with Zach. We argued a lot, I felt depressed a lot and had some huge issues with anxiety attacks. But I know that 2018 is going to be different. I’m going to make it different. I am going to kick this year’s butt. In a way, I’m getting revenge for the sad, depressed, anxious person I was most of last year. That being said, here’s this week’s quote –

That’s right. Success is the best form of revenge you can ever get. It’s showing the world and yourself that you *can* succeed. People (yourself included) may have doubted you, put you down, told you you weren’t good enough or that you could never reach your goals. But there’s nothing sweeter and better tasting than the satisfaction of knowing you’ve just proved everyone wrong about you.

So let’s go into this year with the mindset that everything will be fine. You will succeed. You will reach those goals and keep those resolutions.

Things will be better this year. I just know it.

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Do It Anyways

There are times when it feel as though the entire world is pushing against you. Like everyone is telling you no, or that you can’t do something. As though you’re incapable. But I’m here to tell you that you ARE. You ARE capable. You CAN do it.

You can do whatever you set your mind to, and you should. Especially if it seems as though the world just keeps kicking you down. If you are trying to go after a dream, a passion, a life goal, and those bumps in the road may make it hard and may make you feel like you can’t reach your goal. But you’ve just got to keep pushing forward.